The Champagne Socialist

Unedited thoughts from a progressive mind - food, wine, music, poetry, photography - apathy is boring, life without bubbles, more boring still.
Recent Tweets @laurendorphin

Fuck if new shoes don’t make a girl feel like a million bucks on a stressful day.

I feel like I’m at an impasse with some people in my life. In some ways I feel compelled to call them out on everything about them that irks me: how they use people, how they flat-out lie to themselves and the people around them, how they misrepresent situations to skew them in their favour, how they ignore people who try to be honest with them, their passive-aggressive behaviour, their privilege, their willingness not to acknowledge their privilege, their prejudice, their false modesty, their false concern for others, their champagne socialism.

I called a good friend on Monday night (okay, it was davejaffer) for an objective opinion. While I’ve tried to become a more informed about the world, more equitable, more active, more aware, less fucking self-centered in the last little while, I’ve also tried to be but quieter, less vocal about things I don’t really know about . People like Dave (and so many people on the tumblr here tbh) have been pretty instrumental in helping me see so many of the kinds things above in myself that I can change and I try to work daily to do so. So now I’m at a point where I just get angry and frustrated when it seems like others aren’t doing this kind of work too.

Dave told me a bunch of things that helped me get perspective, but there were a few key takeaways. Firstly, Hanlon’s razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” That is, I might feel like people in my life are being mean, evil, close-minded or truculent on purpose, but it’s far more likely that they’re just clueless (particularly as to how their actions affect others). Secondly, after a pretty good conversation in which we lamented how fucking enraging it is that people ignore their own privilege (as per below) or make jokes about privilege or ignore the fact that they can do anything to change it, Dave told me this: “the best thing you can do (when dealing with ignorant people) is DON’T BE ONE.” 

So hopefully I’ll get over this impasse, walk away from it and from these people, and continue to surround myself with people who want to do the good work, in the world and in themselves and in their relationships, and the hard work, too. It’s not worth burning bridges when the bridges are made of straw. Natural causes will wash away those bridges in time.

champagnesocialism:

Woman observes something factual and calls a man out on it, pointing out his privilege: “oh, you’re overthinking it.”

Man observes something factual and calls another man on it, without pointing out his privilege: “you know, you’re right”.

I want very badly to talk about this with some people in my life but I just don’t think they’ll Get It. Maybe John Oliver will help. Or puppets.

♪ Mandatory Minimums for Heroin and Crack/Stack the system against Hispanics and Blacks 

sodisarmingdarling:

John Oliver summarizes why the prison industrial complex is terrible.

Following canadianbeerandpostmodernism has certainly exacerbated my Montreal homesickness.

Alexi Hobbs - “The Write Way to Do Montreal”

newyorker:

Read about this week’s cover, “Fifty-ninth Street Bridge,” by Eric Drooker: http://nyr.kr/1nadMw8

Last night, I had dinner at a restaurant that is purportedly Toronto’s best. I hasten not to call anything The Best, because sometimes Pizza Libretto is the best to me TBH, but it was truly one of the most special meals I’ve ever had. Seven courses felt like just the right amount, maybe even not enough food for how much we drank, but every single thing we ate was magical and unique. The service was friendly professional; our 6:30 reservation lasted until 10 with complementary bubbly to start and rum cake to finish, to celebrate our anniversary. I was beginning to think that Toronto was an overcharging midrange restaurant paradise, with a whole lot of places serving the same kind of food with mediocre service. Edulis changed my mind.

Woman observes something factual and calls a man out on it, pointing out his privilege: “oh, you’re overthinking it.”

Man observes something factual and calls another man on it, without pointing out his privilege: “you know, you’re right”.

beatpie:

G. Kero - Bowie Shirt

Looooove.

(via thatsashajames)